I wanted honesty, but I m not that 100% honest. I wanted to take care of people around me, but I can’t take care of myself. I have a problem, I don’t know how to pretend.
Those words, they linger and resound to my ears like forever haunting me in several ways.
But,… I try to be honest it’s just hard to be… It’s not about telling lies, it’s about what you want to tell other people, or like what they expect to hear form you or vise versa. I was asking honesty but I feel that I m being unfair, cause I myself demand something which I cannot/ won’t give back. I feel so wrong about it. :( But I have my reasons. I try to tell myself that my reasons are the most important thing, even though I m seen as a villan it won’t matter, as long as I know, what I m doing is right or the best thing to do. Keeping this, so that people won’t be hurt. Oh well, most of the time they won’t understand, and they’ll think that your just being mean or you don’t trust them.
Oh how wonderful and complicated it must have been to see someone in a situation wanting to tell them everything, but your so afraid of what damages and complications it could bring.
So these are the REASON/REASONS why… I’ve always started to speak that way… but never got to the end of it.. I don’t know how far it will take me. How many people I’ll see leaving but at the end of the day, I was just caring… In a weird way I guess. :)